Closing Old Doors

I just finished a big clean out of my "Liked Pages" on Facebook. It felt good. Not quite as good as sending a truck full of stuff to the thrift store, but pretty close. I don't have a lot of time for social media anymore, and I want the content I'm seeing to be fulfilling. I want memes that make me laugh and articles that help me help my students. I want funny, relatable videos and blog posts.


What I don't want is to be consumed with things that belong in the past. The old chapters of my life have been well defined. I'm a passionate, dedicated person. Once I become a part of something, I'm all in. For a couple of years I wrote for an adoption website. At first it was a few articles each month, but by the time I left that had increased to about 40 a month. I was writing news articles daily and several other larger pieces. When you are churning out that amount of content you kind of get burned out. When I stopped writing for them it wasn't because I was unhappy there. I simply didn't have anything left to say about adoption that I hadn't already said in one way or another.


During my time there I followed tons of different organizations, businesses, family bloggers, etc. It was my job to be "in the know." My life became saturated with adoption. Personal stories, legislation, books... You name it, I was reading it and writing about it. Adoption will always be a part of me because I'm an adoptee, but after I left the website it was just too much. Removing those pages from my feed doesn't mean I love those organizations or families any less. It just means that they aren't what's filling my cup these days.


After that chapter closed we were thrown unexpectedly into the autism rabbit hole. It was isolating and desperate, and I couldn't see our way through it. Everything was hard and we felt completely alone. I sought refuge and advice in autism groups and on pages of other families. They really were a crucial part of my life for a few years. Sometimes finding other people who know exactly what you are going through is the only to survive. After we put Leland on the Nemechek Protocol his behaviors started to improve. He became healthier. He started to speak. And now, aside from ADHD and his articulation delay he doesn't seem any different from his peers.


And just like that, I don't fit in with those groups and pages any more. If I'm telling the truth, I haven't for a while. I've been trying to stick around to provide words of encouragement and support. Almost paying it forward for all the solice they gave me. But now their words just make me sad. The hardest part of writing my book was having to emotionally visit places I had tried so hard to block out. Well, in a way, that's what has been happening when I go to Facebook. I see distraught posts from parents that I could have written myself a few years ago. It takes me back to a place I don't want to be anymore. Autism will always be a part of our lives, but it's no longer the center of it.


You've all seen the meme that says "don't look back, you're not going that way." That's kind of how I feel about this. It's time to close that door and move onto the things that bring me joy. Of course I'll still follow a few families that are close to my heart, but it's time to move my energy into new things. When is the last time you took inventory of your social media? It's time to remove the toxic friends. Go unfollow the pages that aren't filling you up or are just taking up space. Find some new, interesting ones. Open the next door.




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