Oil Life, Happy Wife

It's been a minute since I've been inspired to write anything. Summer for most people is a time for vacations, sun and friends. For me, it's a time to rest and recharge. We have so many things going on during the school year that time seems rushed. There's always somewhere to be and something to do. It's nice to slow down and just enjoy being at home with the people I care the most about. We read a ton of books and snuggle to watch movies. We play cards and board games for hours. But my writing cap has been sitting on the shelf collecting dust and it's time to pick it up for a minute to mark an impending milestone.  I'm turning 40 on Tuesday and honestly, it feels weird. How am I 40? I feel like a younger person trapped in this aging body. Like all the other people around me are genuine adults and I'm pretending to be one. Is this what our parents felt like at 40?  It really seemed like they had it more together. I guess their lives looked easy because w

Mother's Day is upon us. Much of the country is celebrating with lunch outings, flowers, and hugs. For some of us though, Mother's Day is complicated. It comes with a wide range of emotions all at once. Some of us don't have the traditional relationship with our mothers. Some have more than one mother. Many have women in our lives that very much mother us, but they aren't actually related. All of those apply to me.  I was raised by my adoptive mom. Some of it had hearts and flowers, but the journey wasn't perfect. I spent a time raising myself and my little sister. We don't talk anymore, but it doesn't mean that I don't mourn the past every time I think of her. In the time after that my ex-boyfriend's mom was a mom to me. In several ways she was better at it than my mom. Certainly she was more supportive and reliable. And she remains a pillar in my life twenty years later. Six years ago I found my birth mom. She is a beautiful soul. She is funny, tho

Every day I read news articles about teachers leaving the profession in droves. I read stories about the failure of the system during the pandemic. I hear about growing expectations for drastically low pay. I get it, and I'll be the first one to tell you that you need to make your happiness a priority. I'm a teaching assistant in a kindergarten class. I know all too well the ding my phone makes when I get another Covid notification email. It happens multiple times a day. I know the urgency to cover a class that has been left without a teacher at the last minute. I know that teachers should have gotten a substantial pay raise decades ago.  I witness their magic every day and I don't see how they do it. They play mom or dad to all those kids while planning all of the exciting events. They go in early and stay late while maintaining a smile and a cheery disposition all day. And then when they finally go home they have their own families to tend to. And while they are technical

I just finished a big clean out of my "Liked Pages" on Facebook. It felt good. Not quite as good as sending a truck full of stuff to the thrift store, but pretty close. I don't have a lot of time for social media anymore, and I want the content I'm seeing to be fulfilling. I want memes that make me laugh and articles that help me help my students. I want funny, relatable videos and blog posts. What I don't want is to be consumed with things that belong in the past. The old chapters of my life have been well defined. I'm a passionate, dedicated person. Once I become a part of something, I'm all in. For a couple of years I wrote for an adoption website. At first it was a few articles each month, but by the time I left that had increased to about 40 a month. I was writing news articles daily and several other larger pieces. When you are churning out that amount of content you kind of get burned out. When I stopped writing for them it wasn't because I was

So many people get completely overwhelmed this time of year. Most of the stress is piled on by us based on other people's expectations. Let those expectations go. I want you to close your eyes, clear your thoughts and picture only what brings you joy during the holidays. For me it's lights on the house, a decorated Christmas tree, watching Christmas movies as a family, and sending out Christmas cards with a picture of the boys. And that's exactly what we do every year. If we can squeeze in a trip to go see lights or go see Santa, then that's great. If we can't I'm not gonna stress it. We had a heck of a time finding Christmas pajamas for the boys to have their photo taken in this year. Since Jordan was born we have been taking pics at Christmas in pajamas. It's always been adorable. As the boys have gotten older we have moved from print pj's to character ones. They get to pick out the ones they like and be a part of the process. When we started looking a

I met Jason when I was 22. He had three kids ages 6, 8, and 10. I remember being so nervous to meet them. What if they didn't like me? As we rode back to Florida from Louisiana listening to the kids belt out all the lyrics to Quiet Riot Metal Health, I fell in love with them instantly.  I tried my best to be friendly and loving without overstepping. I reflected a lot on all the things my stepmom had done wrong and how I could do better. I wanted to be a support for their relationship with their dad, not an interference. I cherished the time we got to spend with them and thought about them all the time while they were away.  Sharing kids is stressful though. Divorce is messy. If I'm being completely honest, there was a time when the adults couldn't stand to look at each other. Those days weren't enjoyable for anyone. They weren't healthy for us or for the kids. Letting go of all our bullshit not only made us better parents, it made us better people.  We aren't ju