What We See


I'm at a weird place in my parenting journey. One that I feel only my husband and I understand. At the beginning of the summer we set an education plan for Frog. We knew we needed to do whatever we could to provide him with a successful Pre-k experience. We sat with school board personnel and discussed his needs vs what they had to offer.

My husband and I worked closely with Frog's doctor to try medications we hoped would calm down and make him more receptive to education. Instead we either worsened his emotional disregulation or knocked him out. There was no in between. We decided to take a step back and get his system back to what we consider "his normal" before school started.

Frog started school without a hitch. No tears, no drama, nothing crazy to report. He loves his teacher almost as much as he loves me. He's excited to arrive at school and disappointed when it's time to leave. We couldn't have hoped for better.

Because of his health issues, behaviors, and delays the adult to child ratio in his class is 1:1. He'll get some of the services that he needs at school, and safety won't be an issue with that amount of supervision.

Monkey started 5th grade with teachers and friends that he knows well at a school he loves, so he is good to go. Their schedules have left me with the house all to myself during the day. The words "empty nest" keep flashing in my mind. It makes me wonder why I've never heard the situations compared before.

On the heels of first days of school we had Frog's behavioral follow up. The doctor asked if anyone had ever brought up autism. I was frustrated and relieved. I don't like labels. I don't want one to follow him around and that be what people see when they look at him. On the other hand, my husband and I discuss autism frequently because to us it fits. We never brought it up to them because other people don't see what we see.

The doctor had me take the CAST questionnaire, and based on his score, she referred us to one of the only places in town that does autism evaluations. Until now I have only shared those details with a handful of people, the majority of whom seemed shocked. (Insert eye roll here.)

Has no one been listening to anything we have said in the past few years?! Did they think we were making stuff up, exaggerating? They just saw what they wanted to see, a happy, adorable child. I wish that was all we could see too.

We see a 4 year old with asthma, allergies, food intolerance, digestive issues, sensory issues, and some significant delays. We also see a wildly energetic, loud, funny, caring, difficult child with an infectious smile. One who loves people, makes eye contact, plays with everything, and wants to be the center of attention. He is observant, insanely creative, and very in touch with the world around him. He may also be autistic.


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