Treat Yourself The Way You See Others





I was driving yesterday and it occurred to me that when I look at my husband I don't see him how he is now. I see him as he was when we first started dating. In addition to that I'd like to think that I really see him in a way that no one else does.

When I look at him almost 15 years later I still see the fun, energetic guy I fell in love with all those years ago. He'll tell you that he's anything but energetic these days. In seeing him as he used to be I don't even notice the imperfections that come with aging, and that thought pointed my mind in a slightly different direction.

I am extremely critical of myself. I'm hard on myself as a mother most of all, but I torture myself about my physical appearance. I mean it's pretty constant that my brain is pointing out all the things I don't like about myself. I worry about how my husband sees me. Is he disappointed that I don't look like I used to? Does the extra weight bother him the same way it does me?

Of course the answers are no. He has never given me any reason to feel that way. It's just the devil climbing in my head playing games. But it got me thinking that if I don't see the ways he's changed physically, then maybe he doesn't see the ways I have. Maybe love really is blind to negativity.



Here's an example: I am deathly afraid of being on a Facebook Live, but I watch my friends do it all the time. I'm always excited to see them go on, and let me tell you, I only ever think positively about them. "Oh, I love the way she did her hair" or "That is the cutest shirt!" I never even think about whether they are wearing makeup or if they look tired or if they've gained 10 pounds.

When I look at my friends I don't see wrinkles, weight, stretch marks or cellulite. I see their smiles and the way they laugh. I see all the parts of their personalities, not their physical differences. Now we all know negative people who are rude and point out every little thing to complain about people, but they are few and far between. And those people aren't really worth a second thought anyway.

So if the mass majority of people see you the way you see them, then maybe you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. I know it's easier said than done, but it sure would free up a lot of time and energy. Wouldn't it? From now on, I challenge you to treat yourself the way you see others. It just might change your life.

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