ADHD Truths

You've seen the posts online about how ADHD is a made up diagnosis and our kids just need extra recess. I used to think there was a speck of truth there, until I had a child with ADHD. I can't stay silent anymore while people post such garbage. I'm gonna share some of our story and address a few thoughts that are roaming around the internet.

My son didn't really start speaking until he was two and half. Since then he has talked a mile a minute. His brain is always going. He's contemplating his next thought before he finishes the one he's on. When he was in preschool I used to go out on the porch and cry after he went to bed because my mind was utterly exhausted from his non-stop talking.

My son has always been sweet and polite, the kind of kid everybody likes. Shortly after he started Kindergarten his teacher recommended him for the gifted program. His standardized test scores were exceptional. All of his grades were great, except for his citizenship. He was constantly busy, and his talking was a distraction for others.

Fast forward to third grade. We spent years doing everything we could think of to try to help the situation and getting minimal results. We took him to a specialist, and he was diagnosed with ADHD, hyperactive-impulsive type. We worked closely with his doctor to find a dose of medication that would allow him to do his best while not making him a zombie.

Now that you have some background, let me respond to some misinformation.

1. Don't medicate a child unless he has bad grades.

We tell our kids over and over to do their best. What if they can't? What if there was something physically stopping them from doing that? Yes, my child makes excellent grades on meds. He makes pretty damned good ones without them. That affords him opportunities to be in special programs and extra-curricular activities that he can't participate in unless his attendance and citizenship are on point. I'm not going to turn down the activities that he has earned because I'm afraid of a pill. He is a brilliant kid, and I refuse to let ADHD stand in his way.

2. Medicating is taking the easy way out.

There is NOTHING easy about giving ADHD meds. We went through years of diets, supplements, home remedies, etc before going this route. We went through ADHD testing. We did genetic testing to see which meds his body would metabolize best. I fight with my son daily about his food and fluid intake because of his lack of appetite. And this doesn't mean we have stopped trying other things. If we ever find something different that works as well without the side effects, we'll do that.

3. You're basically giving your kid meth every day.

All medications have side effects. That's why we are working so closely with his doctor all the time. He is under continuous medical supervision. I promise you that the pill he takes is no worse than the drug you take for your cholesterol or blood pressure without a second thought. Unless you have a medical degree, this part of the discussion is not open for your opinion.

4. You just need to learn how to discipline your kid.

ADHD behaviors cannot be prevented, stopped, or disciplined away. Here's an example. If you stopped a child without ADHD mid sentence and told him "if you say another word you are grounded for the rest of your life" the child would roll their eyes or huff or walk away. The difference with a child with ADHD is that no matter how much he wants to comply, the compulsion takes over and he does it anyway, regardless of consequence. It's not because he is defiant. He can't help it. You can see the pain in his eyes because he knows the punishment will hurt, but it does not stop the behavior.

I said ALL of that to say this......
You don't ever know what others are going through. Things are not always as they seem on the outside. Be kind to one another. Worry about your own house, and don't act like an expert about things you know nothing about.