It's Not That I'm Not Happy For You



I need to be real for a minute. It's not that I don't want to be around you. It's not that I don't like your kids. It's not that I don't love watching your kids grow up from afar. It's not that I'm not happy for you. It's just too hard.

It's too hard to see your children developing at a normal rate. There's no speech and language delay. There is no vocal stimming. There are no show stopping meltdowns. You just have kids who have a typical path to follow.

I'm exhausted and envious. Every day we are fighting a war that no one sees but us. We are battling time, and I honestly don't know what the outcome will be. I'm a planner, an organizer, and a fighter. Yet I am lost in this life that has been given to me. I cannot see our future and that terrifies me.

It breaks my heart to see your kid who is younger than mine passing milestones we haven't hit yet. We are not giving up. We are working hard every day. We are doing ALL the things. We are determined to catch up.

I really believe it will happen one day. I have to. What other choice do I have? We will keep trudging through the muck and celebrating the gains as they come. We are not giving up. Please don't give up on me.





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